Losing a friend

One of our close friends died. He was the best man at our wedding and was a great friend of my husband's.


He is the most lovable guy you'll ever meet. He has this infectious laugh that makes you laugh instantly. This past weekend has been hard. I've been inside the house all weekend and just became a hermit. My poor dog has been dying to go out for a walk and I just can't seem to gather the motivation to get out of the house. I cry uncontrollably whenever it occurs that our friend has died. I still can't believe it.


I will miss the way he laughs, the way he and my husband beat each other up like a bunch of 7 year olds. Odd thing is that throughout these years they've maintained that friendship and they still laugh at the same jokes and play stupid tricks on each other just as if they were back in elementary school. I love watching the two of them interact with one another. It's just funny.


They would get on each other's nerves on purpose and before you know it, one is giving the other a noogie and one ends up carrying the other in a piggy back ride. You don't see this happen with normal 36 year old men. But again, this is Ryan and Wes. They have always been like this and always will be.


The fact that he is gone, breaks my heart. It's for a selfish reason of course.....Gone are the days of piggy back rides and wet willies. Gone are the days of playing stupid jokes. And long gone are the days of Ryan's calls to him to just talk for hours about absolutely nothing.

Now I worry about my husband for selfish reasons. Who will he call when he feels down ? Who does he give noogies to ? Who will he tell stupid jokes to ? Who will take Wes' place ?


Wes was the only one that knew both Ryan and me so well. We were so comfortable with him that he was the only one that would see us argue and bicker with each other. He even knew the silly words that only Ryan and I only shared. He saw us at our best and at our worst. And despite it all, he was always there with his infectious laugh.


He was never judgemental or pretentious. He was a simple guy with a great heart.

Unless, you have a close friend die no one will ever know the emptiness you feel in your heart. Even though he was Ryan's best friend. He became my best friend in the process. I didn't realize it until now that he is gone. And we will miss him dearly.

If there was anything I can buy to replace the emptiness in my husband's heart I would buy a 100 of these things in a heartbeat. But no one can replace the friendship he and Wes have shared. This is truly a priceless friendship.

My husband has been surrounded by his old friends and I'm glad that I have some alone time to grieve alone. I just hope when I see him I can be strong for the both of us. I'm sure it hasn't sunken in as to how we will live without having Wes in our lives. It'll be hard I know. I just hope that wherever Wes is at, I just hope he's watching over Ryan.