A Letter to Wes

Wes -

I know you are gone. And I hope wherever you are in heaven you can read this. Ryan misses you dearly. He wrote an email to you when he found out the news. I'm not sure why he did this and neither did he. He stares at his sent folder and looks at the email he sent to you.

I think he thinks you may responsd to him.

Last night we had talked all night. All about you. Just Ryan and I sitting in our kitchen just talking about the memories we've shared with you.

I wish you were here. I wish you were here to help Ryan through this. But you can't and it hurts me to see Ryan miss you so much. He wants to know where you are. And so do I. Can you hear me ? Can you hear us cry for you ? Can you hear us laugh when we think about the jokes you guys used to share about your treadmill ?

I miss you. We miss you. Ryan misses you so much it hurts.

The tears can't stop flowing and my heart feels like its about to burst. How did this happen ? You were suppossed to help me plan Ryan's next surprise party. Remember ? You were suppossed to be the godfather of our children. Remember ? We were suppossed to tell you that we love you. That Ryan and I would be lost without you. Remember ?

But of course since I never told you that, so I guess you would've never known.

How am I suppossed to help Ryan ? Wes, you were the only one that I would've called to help me. What am I suppossed to do ? Why aren't you here ? Why aren't you there at home to pick up the phone ? Why is your house empty ?

Where are you ?